The Hierarchy of Controls

Ok bear with me. You’re not at work, this isn’t another dull safety meeting, nobody is droning on and on about metrics and statistics and slips, trips, and falls. But the above image did pop into my head this morning while working backwards through our journey so far in my mind.

If we go back to the beginning, and use slightly different language, this fits. The hierarchy of controls. Normally used to demonstrate the preferred method of dealing with hazards or risks, from the most effective to the least. In this case, my sub-optimal lovemaking ability is the risk…or hazard. Either way, our goal from the outset, whether stated….realized..or not, was to find ways of dealing with it.

Except we did it all wrong. We worked from the bottom up (as per the image). We went, as we now know, from the least effective controls to the most. That’s not to say it wasn’t fun trying…working our way through them all. But if this was a boring safety meeting, we would be held up as an example of what not to do. So let’s run through the analogy as it applies to us, and you can be the judge of how well it fits. If nothing else, your next safety meeting might be a little less boring.

Least Effective – PPE – In the beginning, we used sleeves, penis extenders, numbing creams and condoms…anything to extend my stamina, enhance my less than generous natural gifts, provide more stimulation….you get the idea. Did it work? Meh. Was it better than nothing? Yes. Stamina was better, but it didn’t make me a better lover. Size was better, but it was unnatural size wielded by someone who didn’t know how to use it. So….PPE is the last line of defense, but shouldn’t be your first choice.

Next Step – Administrative Controls – What woman doesn’t get dripping wet at the mention of administrative controls, but I digress. Miss E took full control – how, when, with what, on her schedule, whether I came or not didn’t matter (in fact, it was preferable if I didn’t). This of course was layered with the PPE from the first step. Did it work? Yes…again, slightly better. Miss E certainly took to the control aspect, both over the sex in general and over my orgasms. She was more turned on, more often. However, satisfied she was not.

Good – Engineering Controls – Now we layered in toys. We added a high quality, very realistic strap on. Better vibrators. G-spot toys. CBT toys, to tickle that particular fancy of hers. Again, better, but the problems were now actually more magnified than in the beginning. Now, with full control, turned on all the time, wet every day at the drop of a hat, and not being satisfied, Miss E was desperate to find a solution.

Better – Substitution – This is where it finally started to click. But any dreadfully dull health and safety rep could have told us that. Substitution is the second best of controls, after all, and is highly prized. It turns out it was highly prized by Miss E as well. This is where she started to substitute me with a Bull. I wasn’t eliminated entirely, but with a visit from a Bull on a regular basis, she was, for the first time in her life, satisfied. This is probably where Bob in your HSE department would advise you start if you asked him how you should make your wife happy.

Best – Elimination – So this is where we’re at now. We haven’t blogged much lately, and this is a relatively recent development. About three weeks ago we came to the conclusion that PIV sex with me was pretty pointless. Our intimacy needs are met in other ways, not having it doesn’t detract from our relationship in any way, and if everyone is being honest, it’s nothing but a let down having sex with me, for both of us. After seeing how animated she is with another, how much noise she makes, how she moves, how her body reacts, how she squirts, has multiple orgasms……having her under me….quiet….still….looking half bored….it’s not enjoyable for me. So we’ve eliminated me entirely. I still provide other services of course, and when it’s time for me to be teased or have pleasure have a half bodied rubber doll or simply a vibrator (under her supervision and control of course), but her sexual satisfaction is now provided almost exclusively by another.

Stay safe everyone.